It is commonly known that catball brothers are denizens of the hypertubes. They have been known to enjoy LOLcats (not surprising) and other meme-based humor, try not to read the news too much (bad for happiness), and often observe message boards but very seldom participate in discussions.
One such little orange fellow was cruising the tubes one day, when the urge to play overwhelmed him. "I feel like climbing and bouncing on catball-approved surfaces, and if there was a little fort to play tower defense in and if there were something to bat at that would be fine too. I should search for fun for me and my brothers to play with!"
Catball went to a hypertube site and started looking at all the fun things that were on sale there. Tall things and curvy things and carpeted things and scritching-postey things all tantalized his little catball senses.
"This one! This one might be perfect!"
"It has tiers and towers and a ramp and carpet and a little fort to play tower defense in and something to bat at built right in! It could be the most perfect fun there ever was! But what if there were something even more perfect out there that I'm missing? I'd better keep checking to see."
Catball continued to search for wonderful cat toys when to his shock he found HIMSELF staring back at him.
"Wha...? It is me. I mean, I am him. No, no, I mean, he is us. What is a catball brother doing on here? He is such a handsome fellow, too. I cannot believe what I see!"
It was true; there he was, another catball brother looking back at him from the screen. "I usually look on this tubesite for things to buy and have fun with. I would definitely have fun with this thing, but I cannot believe he is for sale. Guys! Guys! Come look! Come look at what I found!"
Catball's catball brothers gathered around the screen, and their green eyes opened wide in disbelief at what they saw.
Round asked, "What is this fine papier-mache totem you have found?"
"Yes, what manner of synthetic realistic catball effigy have you found on here?" Oblong said.
"Brothers, this is not a fine papier-mache synthetic realistic catball effigy totem I have found. It is a catball. A brother. And I think he needs our help!"
Catball explained how he was searching the tubes for fun things for the gang and came along the listing. They looked at each other and went quiet, as the gravity of the situation started to sink into them. "Click on the doohick. Let's find out some more," said Catball.
Up popped a big picture of a catball brother, looking proud and happy and orange as orange can be, a fine catball brother specimen through and through.
Round furrowed his brow. "Are we sure we're sure that is a catball," he questioned his brothers, "and not
some form of pseudo-catballish inauthentic knockoff facsimile of a
catball?" Catball clicked on the next photo.
"Hmm...yep, it's a catball," said Round.
"It IS a catball brother," Catball replied. "It's a catball brother that needs help, and a new home, and it needs its brothers."
"This is a place where you buy things, right?" asked a catball brother. "How much will it cost to provide aid to this brother?"
"$19.99," Oblong said. "Gather all your worldly possessions; I call a catball board meeting!"
"So," started Catball, "the issue at hand is we have a catball brother in need of help, and we need $20 to help him succeed. I can contribute this."
Next was Round. "I have 51 of these cents," he said as he plunked the coins down.
Oblong was next.
"It is very valuable! And look at the fine print--worst case scenario, the cash value is 1/20 of one cent. I just 39,999 more of these coupons and we can bring him home."
"I have more coins," Catball said, "but I am worried they are not worth much and they have Japaney moon language on them." Plunk and plunk, the coins hit the board.
"These are festive and colorful paperclips," said Catball. "They are not worth a whole lot, but they are whimsical, and maybe the catball brother's case manager would take them in trade?"
The catball brothers surveyed their possessions and their faces turned grim. "We need to think of a better solution than this," Catball said, "because this is not enough to save our catball brother."
"What do human people do to earn money for things?" Catball pondered aloud.
"Chores!" said Oblong.
"Good idea! Let us do chores around the house, and maybe the big guy and his cute wife will give us the dollars necessary to save our catball brother."
"But what chores need doing?"
"I often see the big guy's cute wife sigh as she goes down into the basement all the time," Catball said. "No one sighs like that for any reason other than a chore!" I will go down there and see what I can do."
Catball saw piles and piles of cloth that the big guy and his cute wife had worn days before, and big devices to tend to the cloth. "I will make sure their whites are whiter and their brights are brighter the best I can," he said enthusiastically.
As Catball shugga-shugga-shuggad the launderings, Oblong was busy upstairs. "I see the big guy's face every time they pile up their plates and pans in the kitchen," Oblong said. "That big metal bin he hovers over and grimaces at must be some kind of chore factory. Plus there are suds and soap bubbles, which seem pretty fun to me."
"I do not care much for chores," Round said to himself while he pondered his brother's plight. "There must be a different way I can make money." He pondered and pondered and worried and worried about his brother. "I feel stress. I need something to take my mind off of my worry, and maybe an idea will come to me once I am feeling refreshered."
Round joined Oblong in the kitchen and set up his favorite game.
A great idea struck Round just as he struck his great idea.
"Those dealies there! I see people collecting those all the time, and right on the top, it says they're worth five cents a piece! That's my answer!" And so Round set to his task of collecting.
While the others were cleaning and scrubbing and collecting, Catball got sad. "I can do better than paperclips for my catball brother," he thought. "I will sell my favorite, most valuable pieces of art. The big guy and his cute wife go to yard sales all the time, and so I will have a yard sale too. Surely someone will understand and be willing to help us out. Of course, I would like to get fair market value..."
While the others cleaned and scrubbed and collected and sold their worldly possessions, Catball had a crazy idea.
"Aww, maybe you'll find the joker next time, Whale Shark," said Catball, "care to try again?"
The catball brothers scrubbed and cleaned and collected and sold and grifted just a little and by the time they had their next board meeting they found they had the twenty dollars necessary to summon their brother home.
They adjourned their board meeting, hopped on the hypertubes, and made all the necessary arrangements and flight details and chauffeured town car bookings.
"All we have to do now is wait," Oblong said. The others agreed happily.
